AwesomeWriters

Is 50/50 Division Human Nature

February 28th, 2025

I just started this YouTube video , it starts with Chapter 4 and I quickly realized I’ve heard it before. (Warning: this is more of a Twitter post than a blog post…)

Carl mentions the iron curtain that divides humanity in two.

I’ve been actively not keeping up with the news. It’s inflammatory. It’s designed to be. My suspicion is, which I am not the first to express, it is stolen from some many people I imagine – my suspicion is the news is designed to raise blood pressure a) for engagement but also b) the poor Republicans hate the poor Democrats and vice versa. Who is left unhated on? And what news stories go unnoticed bc people are occupied by these strong gut feelings and beliefs around certain topics, that may not be unimportant, but they might be arguably less important than the news stories that don’t make the front page? While the insults are hurled by the powerless to the powerless, and thrown right back but with more force, like a Hatfield McCoy feud – while this feud rages, who sits on the the hill and watches the action while ordering rounds of lemonade (or maybe martinis and X-years-aged whiskey)

There is no more iron curtain. But people seem to be angry as ever, or more so, while no soldiers die, and less people live in abject poverty, we still divide ourselves 50/50.

Didn’t tribes divide into relatively equal numbers, a presumably ideal group number being about 120 or so if I recall? Did cities, provinces, towns develop into relatively equal numbers throughout history?

Say you are given a choice between joining a group of 40 or a group of 60? If it’s the Eve of a battle, perhaps you choose differently, but if you choose the group of 40 over the larger group, are your chances better that there will be a larger dinner portion assuming resources are somewhat equal? You have a better chance of being more relatively important in the smaller group right?

Like the Eve-of-Battle scenario, I could come up with many scenarios where the larger group is the way to go. Just a thought… hopefully the bot that reads the blog I haven’t posted in in x months enjoys it. Cross your fingers for me, hopefully I have more time for reading and writing in the not-so-distant future.

When he says “sheltered by our humanitarianism and sense of justice” – I think this could be misinterpreted, more or less taken out of context and used to justify negative feelings towards the other side, regardless of which side said justified sits on and which crap news station is the only one watched “in this household”

Both sides, all people in… the world – every single person KNOWS that they stand with the just, the people who see things as they are – and not with the dangerous imbeciles who deserve the harshest of penalties.

Carl had WW2 and the Cold War. But sometimes I wonder… on the surface things look very different but…how different, modern, “advanced” are we really? Are we still not dividing in two? To focus on only one thing of very many examples. Do the myths and symbols still not repeat themselves, very nearly unchanged, like a new coat of paint or a bi-monthly haircut?

***

I went to save that Carl video to watch later, I rarely click on these “short” videos (maybe it’s because of the Washington monument, perhaps the largest and most distinguished Freud/Carl coined ______ symbol in the world) – anyway… I watched it. Synchronicity seeming to actually be a thing, it is strangely applicable to this post.
A Frightening Vacuum

September 28th, 2024

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Robert M. Pirsig

“The removal of grades exposes a huge and frightening vacuum.”

I’m starting a company in the near future and I haven’t done much pitching it. Hopefully there is not much of this kind of thing required, at least on my part. I’m not a salesman: I’m way too honest and ridiculous, an open book, which in some cases may be a positive quality, in others… not at all positive.

And my “jokes”, my favorite being the kind where it’s not clear if it is a joke or not, I think I can be funny, but sometimes… it’s not that I don’t care about the recipient’s take on it… I have a perhaps-not-good and definitely a not-always-good habit of working through my thoughts in long meandering messages which is… uncommon to put it mildly, and to put it accurately- sometimes I sound like a lunatic.

My messages are like these blog posts – unstructured, full of tangents (like this one) that may become the bulk of the writing, and, if there materializes a “point” at all, it’s not the one I had in mind when I started tapping keys, and indeed sometimes what it was I started with.

Sometimes it’s a “talking to the duck” situation and I work through my thoughts and something becomes clearer to me, maybe a conclusion of some sort is reached – at least this is what I tell myself to justify the behavior.

A good tone and style for a journal. Not for a sales-type-pitch or any time you want someone to take you seriously.

In short, I’m not a salesman. This particular business and industry at least in part chosen because the sales aspect is a very small fraction of what’s required in other industries / for other types of businesses.

So… what was I saying? Right – I’m pitching this thing and I learned from a very intelligent founder that when you are starting a business the first order of business is to answer the question: “Who has tried this? Why did they fail?” or, if no examples exist: “Why has someone not done this?”

If you can answer that question and are dissuaded, the next question you ask is: “Why are YOU uniquely qualified to solve this problem?”

When I (try to) answer this second question, there are a couple main points, but if I continue I find myself essentially giving a life story. A long one. It’s amazing to me how almost everything significant in my life seems to apply in some way. Sometimes very unlikely and unusual things. I get something like the feeling you might get if you are standing inches away from a mosaic and then start to back up and a picture emerges from all the individual pieces.

But the pieces are things in my life! Things that happened to me and sometimes carry emotion, I won’t say “emotional baggage” because the emotions are both positive and negative, depending on the mosaic block. A better analogy still is a mosaic that is composed of tiny square pictures, each piece, its own story.

One of those blocks (and here is where I attempt to come full circle) is that about 10 years ago now, I took a year off of work to be the primary caretaker for my children while my ex wife was doing her medical residency. Full disclosure: It was later brought to my attention by both my ex and my lawyer, that this is viewed as less admirable when I include the fact that I did bring my kids to daycare, and I did quite a bit of snowboarding during that time – but before rendering judgement: the spent far less time in daycare than other children, sometimes just an hour or two, while I did some traditionally feminine activity like grocery shopping or cooking or cleaning.

I was very much the primary caretaker for both the children and the home (not a negligent and juvenile snowboarder-father) and it was… unsettling in many ways, the role of house-husband.

I learned very well that whatever someone tells you, chances are overwhelmingly in favor that they do not respect a stay-at-home dad, even though they may truly believe that they do, and the non-respect is also overwhelming.

One anecdote: I was paying every bill and had paid every bill for… ever. There were student loans but if there weren’t then “put my wife through med school” would be accurate. I was able to not work then because I had received a decent payout from a successful startup I was part of, where I had worked… a lot and very hard. All the same, my old-bitch neighbor, upon hearing that I was a stay-at-home dad remarked, “Oh! So you are a kept man!”

Another: it took me almost three months to find a job. I thought people would say “That’s awesome! You earned enough money to be able to take that time to raise your children! Wow!” Nope. I eventually got a contract role, learned nothing except a couple things about bureaucracy and red tape, and it was over in maybe 4 months. I was the same person with the same skills walking out as walking in. In that next week I got 5 job offers. Stay-at-home dad – 3 months, 1 job offer. Employed dad – 1 week, 5 job offers. But just about every person these days will tell you – and honestly believe themselves: “I have the same respect for a stay-at-home dad as a working professional dad. What do you take me for?!? A fool who is affected by 1950s stereotypes! I am very much above and not susceptible to that bias, thank you very much!”

One more: I don’t think the judge in the divorce proceedings rendered the same judgment as he would have if I was a hardworking female who had taken care of the bills and children who was then divorced by her freshly minted M.D. husband.

One final one: My lawyer once told me, “It’s illegal in this state to video tape someone without their consent. We are not going to mention that – you could be charge with a crime.” At which point I thought for a couple seconds and said, “Wait hold on… you’re telling me that if she had a video of me…” at which point she cut me off and said “Oh – you’d be in jail. Yeah. Right now.”

It wasn’t my intention to write about father’s rights and sexism… I will just add: my ex and I get along very well and my wife, and her and her boyfriend, we’re happily raising five kids in total, all healthy and happy, so despite my complaints, a happy ending – one must trust the universe.

Ok now I will come full circle and say what I wanted to say when I started:

One of the unsettling things about that time when I was not working, I experienced this “frightening vaccuum.”

When you have a job, you get up, you get ready for work, you do your work, and then you’re tired, and if you happen to be not fatigued enough to ask yourself at the end of the day, “So what was the point? What did I accomplish?” Then the answer is obvious: you worked. Even if you scrolled through social media all day, you accomplished the receiving of that portion of your paycheck.

When you’re not working then you have to ask yourself – day after day: “Ok… so… what am I doing here? What would constitute an accomplishment today?” And hopefully you find some answer and then fulfill the goal you invented for yourself. Or… at the end of the day you might get a vacuum-type feeling.

And far more frightening: you might have the time to ask yourself: “ok… so what is ‘the big goal’?”

That question is sometimes difficult to answer and you may eventually find yourself reading Camus and wading into dark existential waters.

But one must trust the universe.

This is one of the mosaic pieces. If you’re planning on starting your own business, especially one unrelated to physical labor or a physical product, then you should have the ability to set a goal for yourself. If you only work when you have to… if you require a manager or slave driver to drive you… then you may be in for a shock and disaster if you start driving yourself.

A lot of people have told me “What would I do if I won the lottery? Well I’d relax of course! I’d drink margaritas and lie on the beach!”

And when I ask, “Yeah? For how long? Do you think you’d be happy doing that forever?”

The answer is usually, “OF COURSE!”

I have a paradoxical mix of pity and envy for these types. They are so into the carrot-and-stick game that they don’t ask the bigger questions. And that’s a bit sad and pitiable.

At the same time… they are so into the game that they don’t ask the bigger questions. And so they are not troubled by them! Which is enviable as one envies a Taoist monk.

Pity wins out. I have a suspicion that sometimes these types… that by the time they ask the bigger questions (and in every life, I imagine they come at some point) – when this time comes, they may find an answer, but it might be too late for them to do or accomplish the answer they have found. And… that is a situation I do not find enviable in the slightest.
A Strange Mix: The Suffering Samsari Hath No Place to Lay His Head

September 15th, 2024

The Tao of Physics, Portrait of a Lady, and The Way of Zen

Fritjof Capra, Henry James, Alan Watts

– Fritjof Capra, The Tao of Physics

– Alan Watts, The Way of Zen

– Henry James, Portrait of a Lady

What can I possibly say to bring these together?

I did a good stint of suffering. And was indeed called a fool for it.

However… the most direct criticism of this nature – no, it wasn’t “of that nature” – that little “talk” can be boiled down to “you are a fool for suffering”

But I’m not so sure about that… Why am I being vague? I’m completely sure that suffering at that time was appropriate. I almost wrote “the right thing to do” – as if it was a choice.

Ok, let me drop the vagueness altogether. I’m writing about the first Christmas I was divorced and my father telling me that I should not be upset (he may as well have added “you’re bringing down my mood and I don’t like it.”

I would like to use the phrase “the ink was not dry” on my divorce papers but I don’t think they were signed. This was the same day I wired a good chunk of money to my ex wife.

That wire transfer stung, but let me interject here: a) it was a loan and b) my ex wife and I get along very well and c) as painful as that time was… I don’t think people believe me when I tell them that this stint of suffering was maybe, not “for the best” so much as… you never know what is good luck and what is bad luck and… Atman is the Brahman in our souls? Maybe I am writing this story and it’s a drama, not easily classified as a tragedy or a comedy, it is both.

Back to this unlovely conversation with my father: The man told me that he eventually chose (read “repressed”) his sadness after his divorce and that he regretted the time he “spent” upset, and so I should learn from his “mistake” and just skip the sadness (as I was ruining his Christmas – one would think I exaggerate but the man may be a true blue sociopath/psychopath)

I told him that I didn’t think he was correct that… one can just choose not to be sad, that the only thing to do when you’re upset is to be upset.

I don’t think I was eloquent enough at the time to conclude: and then it passes. It doesn’t really leave you, the past is what it is, but then that emotion doesn’t hide somewhere, buried in your subconscious, unresolved: an unsatisfied ghost that will haunt you, perhaps forever, a ghost, waiting for the opportunity to manifest itself.

Again from Portrait of a Lady:

I went inside, my father and had been on the porch, and some minutes later, I was sitting on the couch, an arm around each of my young children, when this psychopath came in and started screaming – ferociously: “YOU DIDN’T HELP SET THE TABLE! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT! WHY DID YOU NOT HELP SET THE TABLE!”

An unpleasant exchange of words followed and… it was nonsensical. My father and my (imbecile) stepmother seemed to somehow fault me further for not being completely cool with being screamed at, for being sad, in front of my two children.

I’ll leave out some unpleasant details but this was an incident where… I started to understand that my father is… he’s not just an a-hole, he has a very serious mental / emotional disorder that causes him tremendous pain and really defies understanding, or rather it is very hard to understand because on the surface it is so illogical. But it is a condition, a neurosis, that is unfortunately common among his generation: the child of Great Depression and World War II parents who did not, or were not capable of, showing love and affection at most likely an early stage of development, specifically ages 2 to 5.

Wowsers. I did not intend to write so much this morning, or share such personal details.

I’ve painted a good picture of myself as a victim. Yes, this particular event, I was not treated kindly.

C’est la vie.

I make light of it, but chances are, you have or will experience some traumas as well. I’m vague again: you will experience some traumatic events in your life. Everyone does. (I wonder what will befall Isabel…) So c’est la vie is appropriate.

I want to highlight what I tried to convey: on the surface, perhaps my father appeared more not-a-fool, more emotionally mature, but those repressed emotions from his divorce didn’t just go away and on this occasion they manifested themselves with him screaming like a lunatic at his son (that’s me), while I was upset about my divorce, and in front of his two young grandchildren at that.

So the real victim of his actions… is himself. He has to live with that. And the way he does that is by his tried and true methods of repression and projection. And… it hasn’t turned out well for him. “Own personal hell” I hear was how he described his day to day recently, now in the twilight of his life, the “golden years.”

So… writing this blog post: this is me not repressing these emotions. Am I a little sad now? Yup. But c’est la vie. If I’m going to bring it back to Zen and Taoism: Yin and Yang. If one is never sad, then happiness isn’t easy to come by either.

Paradox abounds: in this story I am both the victim and not. I can write about this and share it with anyone and not feel shame. And I can thereby recognize causes and effects and being conscious of these things, I can choose to treat my children differently – to not pass down these patterns of behavior from one generation to the next, as is usually the case.

Ok to end on a lighter note, I’m not the only one who recognizes the faults of their parents, and the true challenge is one level deeper, and the goal is that the pendulum not swing too far in the other direction, as Jung has pointed out is often the case. The goal is to show my children balance and equanimity. At the risk of… am I saying this to convince myself of it or is it also the truth? I am not the victim of this story, I am the hero.

The lighter note! I saw this cartoon in The New Yorker recently, and as I find it pertinent, I cut it out and put it on the fridge.

I almost forgot, as this post took a turn that veered from the subjects of these books… the note I scribbled in The Tao of Physics: Now I know the origin of Robert Pirsig’s next novel, Lila. Also, while some of these ideas are familiar, I found the bit about maya referring not to the world itself, but rather to our perception (or misperception of it) to advance my understanding of the subject a bit.

Ah! “The son of man hath no place to lay his head” – when I think back on the time in my life that I describe (detail…) in this post – that line really stuck with me, perhaps I had heard it in an Alan Watts lecture. At the time… I found it true but not particularly comforting. I’m not there yet but as Alan says: “This is The Gospel! This is the Good Word!” And while it can be interpreted somberly, it can be interpreted otherwise: as freedom.

Ah! The title of this post: I’m using Google Gemini a bit lately to get a feel for how it compares to ChatGPT and I asked for the right word: Samsari.
Fanatical Doubt: Who comes to mind?

September 14th, 2024
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Robert Pirsig

Who comes to mind when you read that? What group or type or organization of people do you think of?

Did it occur to you that the opposition may also fit the same description?

There is one person – I would wager heavily on it – who did not come to mind.

You.

“To see ourselves as others see us!”
- Robert Burns
I did not know the author of that quote and had to search for it. Coincidentally, this is one of the Mrs’s favorite poets and so I know of Burn’s Day.

Another quote comes to mind:

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

I did search for the exact wording (not sure if I chose the best of the 500 English language Bible translation…) but I did know the person who coined that phrase. I already gave it away… It was The Jesus.

When I read this, I wondered which century the current most resembles.

“The Fourth Turning” theory comes to mind. Where in that cycle do you think we are?

I laid out the book to take a cover photo and it was the first time I noticed how beautiful the art on the back is. I would like to see the original painting without the bar code, title, etc etc. When I try to find it, if I succeed I will update this post.

P.S. I wrote a post yesterday about this book, I think it had some interesting and personal ideas in it. But… I have to edit it. Stay tuned! (😀 I have no regular readers, and hardly any at all. But… that’s ok. I’ve given up my dream of becoming a millionaire blogger influencer. But you know… I guess you never know. All goes well and I get a little more free time and I would love to put in more of an effort.)
Portrait of a Lady: A Couple Quotes

September 12th, 2024

By Henry James

Like Isabel, Henry James is bestowed with great felicity. (I had to look that one up)

I have The Harvard Classics on Kindle because it was free. I’m not sure why I picked out “Portrait of a Lady” (from volume 71 I think) but I dare say I have found it devilishly rewarding heretofore and after a chapter or two I find myself in the amenable, but very rare, state where I am apt to type out things like “devilishly rewarding heretofore”. It is a rare and strange temperament for me: I feel like I should slap myself in the balls for writing those words (I grew up in New Jersey in the 90s, Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob era, when slapping a dear friend’s testicles for doing or saying something that expressed emotion – or for no reason at all – and proceeding to laugh gleefully while they keeled over in pain was not just a favorite pastime of my cohorts but a widespread phenomenon)

Here are a couple quotes from my pre-get-out-of-bed chapter this morning:

“Isabel’s written in a foreign tongue. I can’t make her out.”

“I’m sure all we’ve got to do,” said Mrs. Ludlow, “is to give her a chance.” “A chance for what?” “A chance to develop.” “Oh Moses!” Edmund Ludlow exclaimed. “I hope she isn’t going to develop any more!”

It appeared to Isabel that the unpleasant had been even too absent from her knowledge, for she had gathered from her acquaintance with literature that it was often a source of interest and even of instruction.

“he had been deplorably convivial”

Her father had a large way of looking at life, of which his restlessness and even his occasional incoherency of conduct had been only a proof. He wished his daughters, even as children, to see as much of the world as possible;

Another vocab word:

“but his physiognomy had an air of requesting your attention, which it rewarded according to the charm you found in blue eyes of remarkable fixedness”
Speech Writer Punchline

September 1st, 2024

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Robert M. Pirsig
Endless Classification

August 31st, 2024

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

By Robert M. Pirsig

You’d think the process of subdivision and classification would come to an end somewhere, but it doesn’t. It just goes on and on.

I’m trying to predict stock prices with AI. This quote is amazingly applicable, so much so that reading it yesterday borders on or sits in the big grey line that may classify an event as a Jungian synchronicity event.

(I think Carl might have erred slightly with that term… it’s hard to use and I think I used it incorrectly but I’m not sure how to correct it either: a semi-synchronicitic event? I’ve triggered spellcheck there…)

This reminds me of something I’ve heard Alan Watts say as well. I’m going to goof this “quote” a bit but it goes something like:

“We think of ourselves now as empirical and scientific but it is just an illusion. Because it’s impossible to analyze all the information pertinent to any decision – because the information is always infinite. The most careful, analytical, empirical, scientific person you can think of – they are just as impulsive as everyone else. You can analyze and think and analyze and think again and… eventually you just make a snap judgement.”

I shouldn’t put that in quotes… the main idea is the same and I think I got some of the words correct but… please don’t quote that quote.

When he mentions infinite information, he touches on the idea that we can never think of and analyze all of the things that may happen. This touches on the idea of “survivorship bias” – again, I should google or use chatgpt here to make sure I’m getting that term correct. There are so many Kahneman coined biases these days… I remember reading about this bias in a Nicholas Taleb book (I have a love / hate relationship with this guy – incredibly pompous and therefore off-putting but… his arrogance is… I don’t want to say it… at least partially justifiable.)

The idea there was: We read these books that promise to teach us how to achieve something. The author analyzed the big winners and they all did A, B, C… And so the conclusion is: do A, B, C and voila, pack your bags for Davos.

But what about all the people who did A, B and C and failed? Where is their lack of accomplishment recorded? Of course it isn’t.

One idea leads to the next and… this quote is from a chapter where Pirsig is explaining who Phaedrus was, what his ideas were about, and why he is important.

Phaedrus is a character in one of Plato’s Socrates dialogues. When I googled his name I thought it interesting that Pirsig and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was the third result. Not a lot of people reading Plato’s lesser known works these days… (perhaps this has always been true)

I thought it interesting that Pirsig calls Phaedrus insane, multiple times, and at the same time has tremendous admiration for him.

Which box is he in Robert?

Perhaps this is an example that relates directly to Pirsig’s discourse on the discourse.

Classify and analyze until the cows come home – Phaedrus doesn’t fit into one nice neat little box.

And perhaps that is true for every single thing – without exception – in the entire universe.

I will butcher another quote coined by I-forget-who: “There is only one true indivisible atom and it is the universe.”

P.S. Here’s a couple more pages / paragraphs, the quote above right in the middle. I particularly enjoy the Mark Twain reference and I’ve wondered about this professional endeavor of mine, analogous to Frodo’s little walk to Mordor: by the time I’m done with this thing, and to generously assume I’m successful, am I still going to have the time to enjoy myself and that success? Is my life passing me by while I fight with this giant beast of a number cruncher that I’ve built? Am I dedicating too much of myself and my time to abstractions of abstractions of abstractions… as my view of the landscape progresses ever further out of focus? Oof. That’s a bit of a grim way to end this post especially when my next activity is to hike down to the basement and work on this number cruncher…

Nothing fits neatly into any box. Paradox seems to both plague and invigorate, completely pervasive and never present.

Ok… time to crunch some numbers…
Because Your Dream is so Big

August 20th, 2024

Grit by Angela Duckworth

I had to put on a motivational video just now, below is a clip that applies to my current project:

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxzkpXhxjvjz1lkos4bfh-Za9HT3GpD7-o?si=Q3FixOp68v9bjF-e

Honestly… for the most part I prefer a… softer mindset most of the time. I more ascribe to a Taoist “Wu Wei” (go with the flow) attitude. I’ve had experiences where I’ve tried very hard to accomplish something and failed. And then when I’ve decided “F it then. I’ll just put in a reasonable effort and… that’s it.” And ironically, after some of those decisions, then I’ve accomplished what I couldn’t with my more intense efforts.

I’m reminded of an Alan Watts quote:

“When I try to impress people I usually don’t.”

(I’m not sure if I got that exactly word for word correct)

There is a caveat: perhaps I wouldn’t have had those successes without the prior intense (and sometimes ridiculous) efforts.

Buddhism is called the middle way for a good reason. Perhaps I have more of an affinity for “Wu Wei” but there is most definitely something to be said for grit – unwavering persistence and determination over an extended period of time.

Angela Duckworth has some inspiring stories in her book Grit. I started reading Mindset by Carol Dweck. When I picked up Mindset I didn’t realize that Dweck coined the term “growth mindset” in that book, which is funny because that is the biggest bullet point in the employee guidelines for the company I work for.I

It was in Grit where I heard that Bill Gates would give coders a tedious problem in the interview process that wasn’t very intellectually challenging but was tedious and required significant determination. Bill only hired software devs that completed that problem.

One of the “Most Important Things” that I teach my kids – number 7 – is: Everything in moderation – but sometimes devour the chocolate cake!

Most of these “most important things” are paradoxical because… that’s how life and the world is. Even at a physical level, when you get down to the quantum level, what do you find? Paradox. The particle is both a field and a single point within that field. Light behaves as both an electron and a wave. It was Eckhart Tolle who I heard say in a lecture: “If it is not paradoxical then it is not the deepest truth.”

I’m pretty far off topic now… let me come back now.

Maybe there is no conflict. Perhaps going with the flow means that sometimes it’s time to “grind” – even though I shudder a bit writing that. I think too many people in The West grind their lives away. Lately I’m afraid that I am doing the same thing. The goal of this project was to have more happy time with my wife and children. I really hope it turns out that way.

I was talking to my favorite gas station convenience store attendant recently, his name is Yama. I mentioned something about all this effort I’m putting into this project and he said something like “You know what I tell people? That is the salt and pepper of life!” I replied: “Yin and Yang! You are a wise man Yama!”

I tell my kids that if all works out as I’d like it to, they might have enough money to just lounge on a beach and drink tropical drinks and eat fancy cheese – but that will not make them happy! The opposite probably. If you never “grind” then you don’t appreciate the times when you are not grinding. And if you’re not helping anyone (that’s Most Important Thing #1 but before age 4 or 5 I simplify that to “be nice to people” and after another year or two it becomes “be nice to people and all living things – including yourself.”) or adding something to this world, creating something or making something better (or at least trying) then you’re not going to end up a happy person.

This blog post is all over the place… I didn’t have a clear plan with this one… just put on that video and wanted to put that clip somewhere I’d come across it again.

Angela, apologies, I like Grit and I think it’s most definitely worth the read, but if I had to recommend one or the other I think I’d have to pick Dweck’s Mindset. I think her style is more coherent, elegant, and cohesive.

The main idea in both books: your natural talent matters but very little. What is far more important when trying to accomplish something is your determination and work ethic. You most definitely CAN improve at anything if you are determined and willing to put in the hours.

I forget if it was Dweck or Duckworth, I think the latter, who quoted Nietzsche. Dang… that paragraph was hard to find the first time when I had the quote in front of me… Why is it that we tend to believe that natural talent matters more than grit and determination and perseverance? Nietzsche thought that it is because that belief allows the believer to give themselves a free pass – we can avoid the shame and embarrassment of not having achieved something if we believe that we never could have because of a lack of natural talent. The truth is – you can accomplish or become the champion or virtuoso that you admire. But when we don’t… because of a crap work ethic or a fear of failure… well… it’s an uncomfortable thought and if one credits natural talent for success then one is absolved of responsibility and can sleep a little easier at night.

P.S. Here is a bonus video about being fearless, which is related because it’s the fear of failure that often crushes our determination and “grit”:
90% is Half

August 19th, 2024

Zen in the Art of Archery

By Eugen Herrigel

“He who has a hundred miles to walk should reckon ninety as half the journey”

I’ve found this proverb to be true in endurance exercises and work.

The Seattle to Portland bike race is 200 miles. Like most, my friend and I did it over two days. The first day we did 120 miles thinking it best to have an easier second day.

90 miles? No problem. 100 miles? It was maybe 105 or closer to 110 miles when I started to really want to be done with that bike ride.

I also remember that the marathon I did – all good until about mile 24.5. That last 1 or 1.5 miles… My body (and mind) felt… abnormal.

This proverb is only more true when it comes to software development. Like a math problem, a program is nothing until it is 100% done and working. Zero points for 99.99999% done. Not working is not working.

This current project… it was a full year ago when I thought I just needed to do one more big push. Turns out that “big” wasn’t exactly the right adjective. Praise be unto Jesus, The Buddha, Mohammed – all of the holiest of holies – I hope that I’m about “done done” with Phase 1 now.

P.S. It’s been brought to my attention that I am a “producer type”, which means that I think I can do something faster than I actually can. Unfortunately I must admit there is truth to this judgement. I still allocate about five minutes for getting ready and leaving the house. I am fashionably late. Always.
The Buddha Resides

August 15th, 2024

Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

By Robert M. Persig

Reminds of one of my favorite quotes:

“The unnatural, that too is natural”

– Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

P.S. I published this from my phone and when I did a “toast” notification showed and I reread the title and immediately thought of the similarity to “the dude abides” from The Big Lebowski. The Buddha resides and the dude abides!