Excerpt from “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche

“You’ve lost everything. Your restless, agitated mind is then stunned, and thoughts subside. And there’s a sudden, deep stillness, almost an experience of bliss. No more struggle, no more effort, because both are hopeless. Now you just have to give up; you have no choice.

So one moment you have lost something precious, and then, in the very next moment, you find your mind is resting in a deep state of peace. When this kind of experience occurs, do not immediately rush to find solutions. Remain for a while in that state of peace. Allow it to be a gap. And if you really rest in that gap, looking into the mind, you will catch a glimpse of the deathless nature of the enlightened mind.”

– Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Chapter 7: Bardos and Other Realities

I was taught that “giving up” was the same as failure. “Nothing can take the place of persistence” was a quote I heard often in my childhood. But perhaps there is a “middle way” that is best.

Strangely, there have been instances in my career as well as in personal relationships, where when I was trying my best, the outcome was… not great. And then when I threw my hands in the air and adopted more of a carefree “what will be, will be” attitude, that’s precisely when the things I had tried to make happen seemed to come about by themselves, with a much smaller effort on my part.

I’m reminded of a time when a Christian friend told me to “give it up to God.” I find it very interesting that religions often thought of as very different seem to have very common precepts when one looks a little closer.

And I’ve definitely felt the peace of mind Rinpoche describes after realizing the futility of a situation and “letting go.” Today actually. For the past few days I’ve been thinking about how to communicate and come to an understanding with someone who seems to not understand my point of view at all… It was a frustrating couple days prior. I had very strong emotions that occupied my thoughts relentlessly and completely at times.

I find it very strange that those strong emotions… seem to come in waves, lasting different periods of time. But during a strong emotion, it feels like it will never change. And then… when I see clearly the futility of the situation… the anger and frustration seem to pass so completely that it’s strange to think that I was so consumed with the emotion a short amount of time prior.

I have been meditating consistently. I genuinely feel like the practice of letting my thoughts be present, but then pass, and returning my focus to the breath, is having a positive effect on my life.